Coping with Dementia [Alzheimer's]

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I am no expert by any means, but I have very quickly picked up on some dos and don'ts for when dealing with those with a form of dementia and their families from recent encounters from my experience with Papa. These are my thoughts and thoughts alone! Not one of medical professionals, not my family members, just mine. Mine and mine alone.

One. Don't judge and say something ridiculous like: "I just talked to [your loved one] for a few minutes over the phone and it didn't seem like there was anything wrong with him/her". Thanks, I'm glad you came to that conclusion in the two minutes you spoke to him/her. How about being grateful, that alhumdulillah, there are still normal moments around.

Just think for a second [or ask a direct relative if just pondering over it won't be enough] what it feels like for an immediate family when [the loved one] cannot recognize them, or know where they are at the very least.

We cherish those moments where everything seems right with the world, and those are the moments that get us through the difficult ones.

So far in our case, alhumdulillah, most "days" run smoothly for the most part. It's the evenings and nights that pose the challenge in more ways than one.

Two. Yes, I understand what [your loved one] is saying doesn't make sense sometimes. Deal with it, and let it go. Don't remind him/her that s/he is wrong or correct them. Play along. Say nothing if you must, but please for the love of God don't make [your loved one] think harder.

Three. Don't judge the family for what they say to [your loved one] to ease their mind. Chances are, no scratch that-- I'M ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE there is a reason behind it and they know better.

Four. If  you are having a conversation with [your loved one], keep it simple. Enough said.

They don't need to know a whole life story that will probably confuse them later. And they certainly don't need to be put through a [political/personal debate/argument]. Not necessary. Chances are some parts [or bits and pieces of many different conversations] will stick in their mind and come back later out of context. Not to mention that it's not good for them to be over thinking either. 

Simple is good.

Again: these are my thoughts, and thoughts alone about my experience. And they definitely don't apply broadly to every person with dementia/Alzheimers/Sundowning Syndrome.

Everyone copes differently. What works for me? Writing my thoughts and sharing experiences with my family who get it simply because they are experiencing it too. It's not something that is easy to explain. Chances are you have heard of someone with Alzheimer's, but until you experience it first-handed... it's unimaginable.

I don't know if it makes sense or not, but my love/admiration for Papa has grown even more. I'm blessed immeasurably to have so many fond memories of/with him that I cling to on difficult days. I just came back on the 17th from Virginia after spending a week with him and unfortunately had several reminders to cherish the moment. That dementia/Alzheimer's is ugly. I hate dementia with all my heart and soul, but love Papa with every ounce of me.

P.S. Twelve days until my parents and I leave for a trip of a lifetime, inshallah... for hajj! More on that later.

Papa and Me Time

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Family is family and there is nothing like family. One of the hardest things I have had to do in a very long time [if not ever] was to say goodbye and head back home hours away this past Tuesday night after spending a wonderful week by Papa's side.

There is no one better to take care of [your loved one] than a caring and loving family member. One who knows what they like and dislike, one who gets them, one who can comfort them and reason with them.

Of course, it's not easy. And everyone's circumstances are different and you have to do what you have to do. But a stranger can never replace the level of care a family member can provide: because most of all, [your loved one] just wants some good old company. Someone to sit by their side and talk. Or do absolutely nothing. They need to be shown how much they mean to us, that they are loved, taken care of, and an important part of our life!

I am blessed beyond words to have Papa in my life, and I loved every minute of the almost six days I had with him- the "Papa and me" time will always hold a special place in my heart. The last few days of my trip involved a lot of tears from my end, because I couldn't imagine leaving him- what I wouldn't do to be able to stay there longer by his side. My six days revolved completely around Papa, from the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep, so you can imagine who weird it felt to be back home and only speak to him via the phone.

Dementia

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"... among you is he who is returned to the most decrepit [old] age so that he knows, after [once having] knowledge, nothing." [22.5].

Dementia. I don't know whether it's nice to hate something, but I do. I hate dementia. With every ounce of me.

It's taken away my maternal grandfather mentally from us, and that is something that breaks my heart. The signs were there for so long, but I can't begin to explain to you the rapid changes in just one month's time. You just had to see it to believe it. I don't think I would have believed it if I wasn't experiencing it in front of my very own eyes about someone so near and dear to my heart. For someone with so much worldly knowledge and experience, to now suddenly succumb to something like this and so rapidly... I can't put into words how much I detest it.

I don't say this because our family can't handle it. That couldn't be further from the truth. Each person in the immediate family has stepped up their game and done more than their share. And done it because they want to.

Even when in your heart you already know [and we knew], when it was finally confirmed by medical professionals: it was so hard to digest and believe. Or even fathom. How could this be?

This too is a test from Him above, and together we will conquer it. It hasn't been easy, and I know it won't. But for someone that I have looked up to from day one? I would do anything I possibly can for him.

In some ways, it truly is like having a newborn/toddler around. You learn to have patience, and sooth their mind. You can't leave them alone at all, and your senses need to be at the top of their game 24 hours a day. Yes, even at night when sleeping. You do things for them, and help them with other stuff. They lose their independence and they become dependent on you. Worse, they feel like a burden. How in the world do you explain to, no scratch that... not just explain, BUT show them they are anything but? We would go to the moon and back without a second thought.

And just like when a child's toy is broken and they bring it to you to fix, you wish you could fix this for him just as easily. But you can't. It's broken and we can't do anything about it. We can, only, help him physically, but that will never seem to be enough.

Amongst the family we have been talking about how so often we remember in our prayers our physical abilities, but how often do we pray to retain our mental abilities? Each part of the human body, plays such an intricate role and together makes the human body whole. Even with one deficiency, it's as if the whole person is effected.

I've thought a lot about dementia lately, and every time I see Papa react a certain way, I wonder if he feels it. If he feels confused or senses something isn't right. We, obviously, know things aren't right. That he is confused to say the least. But we can deal with it. But I hope to God that to Papa, inside, he doesn't sense that.

I pray to Allah SWT to make it easy on Papa. To give his mind peace. To give us strength to take care of him in the hardest of days. And that we continue to do it whole-heartedly.

Locked Out

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So you know what I did this weekend?

I locked the keys in the car. In the trunk. In a rental. In another state. Ugh.

Oh and I managed to do this the night of my cousin's, Naairah, graduation party.

On the positive side, I guess it was a good thing that we were already at the hall, and we didn't realize the mishap until near the end of the party.

It was an innocent mistake, but I felt terrible. Paraphrasing my brother's words: Niagara falls of tears were shed [by me]. I'm a crier. A big one. Happy moments, sad moments, mad moments. I guess add stupid moments too.

My cousin, the graduate, needed to borrow blush. It was in my luggage in our rental, so I borrowed the keys from Faraz and we headed to car. Opened the trunk, took out bags covering my luggage, somehow managed to set the keys in the trunk in between, opened my luggage and dug out the blush. She used it, we put everything back in it's place, shut the trunk with all my might [it was heavy!] and headed back in.

No keys. Little did I know though at this time.

It wasn't until much later, near the end of the party, when Faraz asked my for the keys. My response? I don't have the keys. His? Yes you do, you took them from me.

Panic mode as I check my belongings and head back to the car. My thinking [or hope]? The trunk wouldn't have locked with the keys in it. I immediately knew it was in the trunk because I remembered not coming back in with it. Especially because I used both hands to shut the trunk door.

Nonetheless, we searched the hall, I retraced my steps, checked the bathroom, told the hotel workers [in case it showed up], etc. Finally, called Triple A who came to the rescue. A couple of hours later.

It doesn't end there though. When they get there, they tell my brother and dad that they don't think the keys are locked in the car because if that was the case the car wouldn't have locked [BMW 2013 model]. Yeah, well, that's what I thought too.

Oh, and the car alarm starts going off as soon as they unlocked the car through the back window. So my brother climbs in, and heads to the trunk, emptying our trunk... until finally: the key is found!

And so all of this. And all because of blush.

This will be a weekend to remember. Not just because my cousin graduated, or how great the keynote speakers were at her graduation (the best I've ever heard), or pretty much the whole family got together, or the crazy weather that first day... or anything like that: but because of the car. and blush.

What's for Dinner: Yellow Confetti Cake

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So the day of Sabih's graduation party? It also happened to be my cousin Naairah's birthday! Thursday we head off to Virginia for her graduation ceremony that day followed by her graduation party on Saturday.

For her, I made a confetti cake. I used the same homemade yellow cake base recipe as I did for the basketball cake for Sabih, except I threw in some sprinkles into the batter.

Here's the end product:

I made a homemade yellow cake as the base [that was absolutely delicious]. Here's what you need:

• 2 cups of [all-purpose] flour
• 2 teaspoons of baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt
• 1 stick of [unsalted] butter, softened
• 1 cup of sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup of [1%] milk
• [about] 1/4 cup of sprinkles*

*Note: I wasn't sure how well my decorating sprinkles would work inside the batter for the cake once it baked off -- whether they would stay whole and clump, whether the colors would fade, whether it would just ruin the inside of my cake... you get the picture... so I tested out the sprinkles in one cupcake first and it worked wonderfully.

The no oil part in this cake? Love it!

To make the cake:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Spray a [non-stick] 9-inch spring-form pan with non-stick cooking spray for extra precaution.
2. In a mixing bowl, mix together your flour, baking powder, and salt.
3. Next, cream your softened butter and sugar together until they are nicely incorporated together. Add in the eggs and vanilla extract and mix until completely combines.
4. Combine your wet and dry ingredients together into one bowl. Add in the milk. Beat your mixture together until the batter is mixed together and smooth.
5. Add in the sprinkles. Fold/Mix into the batter.
6. Transfer into your baking pan. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until a toothpick in the center comes back clean.

Tip: Make sure to let the cake cool completely before you attempt to frost. Makes a world of a difference, I'm telling you.

For the frosting? I used store-bought creamy "classic vanilla" frosting today. From the [Oreo] Buttercream Frosting from this post back in April I learned my lesson the hard way: no more homemade frosting UNTIL I get a stand mixer. Why are they so darn expensive?! Would make my life so much easier!

I used this fun decorating kit I bought a few months [called "Wilton's Dessert Decorator Pro"] ago to decorate the top of the cake. I think my right hand and arm are still sore from it.

P.S. This post is a part of my "What's for Dinner" series, where I share what I've been cooking and my recipes. Grab and share my button:

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What's for Dinner: Basketball Cake

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On May 30th my cousin, Sabih, graduated from college and yesterday we celebrated!

He loves basketball - and when I came across a similar idea a very long time ago, I had immediately thought at that time that I have to make this for Sabih! Fortunately, I remembered last week and decided to try it out this week.

Here's the end product:

 I made a homemade yellow cake as the base [that was absolutely delicious]. Here's what you need:

• 2 cups of [all-purpose] flour
• 2 teaspoons of baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt
• 1 stick of [unsalted] butter, softened
• 1 cup of sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup of [1%] milk

The no oil part in this cake? Love it!

To make the cake:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Spray a [non-stick] 9-inch spring-form pan with non-stick cooking spray for extra precaution.
2. In a mixing bowl, mix together your flour, baking powder, and salt.
3. Next, cream your softened butter and sugar together until they are nicely incorporated together. Add in the eggs and vanilla extract and mix until completely combines.
4. Combine your wet and dry ingredients together into one bowl. Add in the milk. Beat your mixture together until the batter is mixed together and smooth.  
5. Transfer into your baking pan. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until a toothpick in the center comes back clean.

For the frosting? I used store-bought [milk] chocolate frosting today. From the [Oreo] Buttercream Frosting from this post back in April I learned my lesson the hard way: no more homemade frosting UNTIL I get a stand mixer. Why are they so darn expensive?! Would make my life so much easier!

Tip: Make sure to let the cake cool completely before you attempt to frost. Makes a world of a difference, I'm telling you.

After I frosted the cake, I separated the orange and brown candies from a bag of Reese's Pieces to use to decorate the top of the cake.

1. Using the brown candies, I first used them to draw a line straight down the middle.
2. Turn the cake 90 degrees, and do the same. You should now have the cake divided in 4 sections and a visible "+" sign.
3. Next, again using the brown candies, I drew two half circles on either end.
4. Finally, fill in all of the areas where the frosting is still visible with the orange colored candies.

Tip: I can't emphasize enough how much laying pieces of parchment paper underneath makes a difference in the end result.

I thought about doing this cake with M&Ms originally, but a) who wants to separate all the oranges and blacks from I don't even know how many bags of M&Ms I would need b) I've already made a cake with M&Ms before and c) half the fun is experimenting!

P.S. This post is a part of my "What's for Dinner" series, where I share what I've been cooking and my recipes. Grab and share my button:

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What's for Dinner: Homemade [Vanilla] Cake with [Oreo] Buttercream Frosting

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Happy Birthday Faraz! We sure are getting to the age where I don't even want to say the age anymore!

For Faraz's [my brother] birthday today, I narrowed down the dessert to something either to do with chocolate chip cookies or Oreos relatively quickly because those are his favorite [cookies]. Ultimately, Oreos won over simply because I came up with more ideas for it.

I made the following cake: Homemade Vanilla Cake with Oreo Buttercream frosting.

I starting off by baking a white [yellow?] cake and butter-cream frosting. I changed up the frosting, however, by mixing in Oreo cookie crumbs [the white cream center portion and all].

For my cake, you need:

• 10 tablespoons of butter, at room temperature
• 1 and 3/4 cups of sugar
• 2 [large] eggs
• 1 and 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
• 2 and 1/2 cups of all purpose flour
• 2 and 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt
• 1 and 1/4 cups of milk, room temperature

To make the cake:

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Spray your [non-stick] pans with non-stick cooking spray to be on the extra cautious side.
2. Cream together your butter and sugar in a [large] mixing bowl until the mixture is light and fluffy [I'd say it takes about 3-4 minutes]. 
3. Next, add in your eggs and the vanilla extract. Beat your mixture until everything is combined.
4. In a separate bowl: combine your flour, baking powder, and salt.
5. Alternate adding in the milk and your dry ingredient combination to your wet mixture. So add in some of the flour mixture, and then some of the milk. Keep repeating until everything is incorporated in. Mix just until combined.
6. Pour the batter evenly into (two) cake pan(s). Bake for about 30 minutes (for 2 nine-inch round cakes) [or until a toothpick, fork, etc. inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean].
7. Let the cake(s) cool for around 10 minutes before removing them from the pan to a wire rack [and letting them cool completely].

Cupcakes would probably bake for around 18-20 minutes [only fill 2/3 of the way up as they will rise!].

For the frosting you need:

• 1 cup of unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 2 cups of powdered sugar
• 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract

To make [just] the buttercream frosting without the Oreos incorporated:

1. Put the softened butter in a bowl, and cream it on medium to high speed for several minutes. 
2. Reduce the speed of your mixer to low, and gradually add in the powdered sugar. Two cups of powdered sugar was plenty for me, but you may want to taste it and add some more if you want it sweeter.
3. When all of your powdered sugar has been incorporated, increase the speed to medium before adding in the vanilla extract. Mix well until everything is incorporated.

I needed 2 and a half times the amount listed above to frost in between and around a two layered cake, but it was much easier to do it in batches as I don't have a stand-mixer... and was using my hand-mixer!.

For frosting the cake for my brother, I wanted to incorporate in Oreos, so what I did was: I took a little frosting [ about 1 cup or so?] and set it aside for later use. Next, for each batch of frosting, I crumbled about half a cup of [normal sized] Oreo cookies, and folded it into the majority of the frosting [not the one I set aside for later use]. The frosting was absolutely delicious as is without the Oreos, but incorporating the Oreos into the frosting itself took the cake over the top.  I wanted to incorporate the Oreos into the cake batter itself as well, but out of a abundance of caution I decided not to experiment with that. I did need a cake for the night, after all.

Tip: You can store any unused frosting in the refrigerator in an airtight container. Just let it come to room temperature before using it again.

To assemble everything:

1. Tip: Line the bottom of the platter [or whatever you plan to serve the cake in] with parchment paper along just the corners. This will help keep the platter edges neat and clean while you frost. The mess will remain on the parchment paper, which you can easily remove when you are done.
2. Place one of your cake rounds on the platter and frost the top of the cake with your frosting. Do this liberally, as it will also serve as the binding layer between your two layers of cake!
3. Put your second layer of cake on top of the first one. Frost the rest of the cake [the sides and the top]. You could choose to just stop here, but what I did next was:
4. That frosting I set aside earlier? I used that to decorate on top of my Oreo-frosted cake along the top of my cake, leaving some space in between each. Finally, I added a bite-size Oreo in between each of the decorated star on top.

When you are done decorating the cake, don't forget to pull out the parchment paper along the bottom of the platter! Like I mentioned in this post: it is much easier to have smaller pieces of parchment paper, instead of one large one, when you are ready to remove the parchment paper at the end.

P.S. This post is a part of my "What's for Dinner" series, where I share what I've been cooking and my recipes. Grab and share my button:

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Ayaz's Birthday

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Tonight, we had an early birthday celebration for my brother Ayaz.

I made Biryani:

and then I made a M&M and Kit-Kat [with multiple layers inside of yummy-ness] birthday cake:

and Cupcakes:

French Vanilla and Milk Chocolate cupcakes, with vanilla frosting and sprinkles.

Recipes to follow soon!

Legos

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You see the Lego box below?

It's from our (my siblings and mine) childhood. Our parents bought it for us back in 1991 -- yes that's 21 years old -- and almost as old as me!! We played countless hours with the set, building everything imaginable. We wore out the blocks, the people, and the board to build on a very long time ago.

Then, for many years, it sat in the back of our closets as we grew too old to play with it.

In the last few years, however, it has made a comeback! As our little cousins grew older, they started playing with it more and more (because  let's face it -- we don't have many other toys in our house).

Now, our young nephews and niece are quite fond of it as well and play with it every time they come over. It's so funny because it's the first thing they ask about as soon as they come to our house (if they don't just go find it themselves, that is!). They are even more pleased to find that what they built in their last visit is usually still in the box too.

I keep telling my family that we need to buy more toys now that there are so many little kids in the family again (in the next generation especially!), but at the end of the day it seems that they all seem to enjoy playing with the Legos that WE played with many many years ago.

The pieces may be worn out, and parts missing... but it doesn't seem to hinder their imaginations one bit.

It's so much fun to see what my little cousins and niece & nephews end up making -- from houses, and cars to angry bird -- they have probably made it all.

A couple of years ago, my little cousin even said to us that 'we really need to get new Legos". Maybe he's right. We may not need many other toys for them to play with, but a new set of Legos might just be what is needed.

In a time when things are made not to last too long, it is so nice and sentimental to think about how we used to play with the same set growing up when we watch our younger cousins and niece & nephews play with it.

Very few things stay constant from one generation to the next. Most of the things we grew up with are a thing of the past for kids nowadays -- they wouldn't recognize it most likely -- just like we probably wouldn't recognize the TV shows they watch or the toys that are a hit now (or from our parents' time)... so it's so nice to see things that still connect one generation to the next.

In this case, a simple box of Legos.

A handful of legos: In this picture you can see that the green base to build things on  is broken :(, but the other  pieces are relatively in good shape. That yellow and red window is still in one piece and functional :).

Precious Cousin

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Today marks ten years since my beautiful and absolutely perfect baby cousin passed away after only fifteen short months of life.

She died in the hospital room of a local hospital surrounded by MANY members of her extended family.

Hers was the first death I experienced in my life. Losing her was so bittersweet because it was also comforting to see her finally be so peaceful after she passed away. Watching her lose her battle and seeing her lifeless body is still probably the hardest thing I have faced and it's a moment I'll never forget.

At such a young age, she taught me so much about life. Like how fragile it is. Or how to cherish every moment and make the best of each day because you just never know.

If we lived every day as if it was our last day on earth, just think of how much more we would get done on a daily basis!

In some ways, it seems like it was just yesterday... yet at the same time it feels like it happened such a long time ago. I think of her often and wonder what she would have been like. I may be biased, but I can still remember how contagious her smile was.

 P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

Texas Trip

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Texas. What can I say about our trip? It was disgustingly hot. That pretty much summarizes the trip for me.

While our five day stay earlier this month was a lot of month, the heat and humidity more than took over the trip.

My brother Faraz and I have been there once before a couple of years ago to visit our uncle and his family; last time we went, it was May so we didn't have to face the heat that time. Instead, we had to face their crazy, random, and unpredictable thunderstorms that year.

The night we got there, we had a BBQ. It was like 11 PM and it was around 100 degrees. If I lived in Texas (which would NEVER happen), I doubt I'd leave my air-conditioned house!

Last time my brother and I went, we went to the Sixth Floor Museum (from where JFK was shot). The musuem is really neat (for those interested in history and politics like we are), and I knew the rest of my family would like it too and so we made another trip. It was like the only tourist thing we got to do because everyday was packed with wedding festivities. I don't know what else there is to see in Dallas, Texas anyways. Anyhow, the museum was a neat experience even the second time around. They did make changes this time around and now it comes with an audio tour.

Highlight of the trip? My cousin's wedding.
Best food? Had the best bihari kababs (probably ever).
The downer? humidity.

 P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

On Our Way to Texas

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After months and months of planning, our trip to Texas is finally here!

Ironically, my uncle lived in Dallas for years, and always called all of our extended family to visit… and my brother, one of my cousins, and I were the only ones to go visit him now. My uncle just moved from there last month, and the WHOLE family is going to Dallas now.

It’s a family reunion of sorts… in a completely random area… because my cousin is getting married! Sitting here, at Newark airport, because yes, we arrived way too early anticipating both traffic on the way and long lines inside. Luckily, we got neither.

For the longest time, we weren’t sure who from our family would end up going because my mom just didn’t want to fly while my brothers and I didn’t want to drive (it’s TWO LONG DAYS WORTH OF DRIVING to get there). I was put to ease a few months ago when we finally booked our flights, etc.

I gotta say, I know the media over dramatizes everything… but boy did they do so for airport check-points. I don’t know if it was just a random occurrence (I’ll have to update after our trip back home), but it was like when we traveled before in the past. Take your shoes off, put your stuff through the scanners, walk through the metal detector. Simple, and easy. The only different thing was that the lady told me she would need to pat my hair down because I wore a hijab. Before I even put my stuff down though, she told me, so it wasn’t a big deal. Then she told ME to pat MYSELF down. Like come on, WHY are people complaining and making such a big deal out of nothing? If anything, people should be willing to go through extra security to ensure a safe flight, no?

Anyhow, back to our trip… besides all the wedding events and festivities of course, I am looking forward to going back to the Sixth Floor Museum and hopefully some other tourist spots. Not sure what there is exactly to see there, but if you have suggestions – I’d love to hear them!

Will update later, about to board for our flight! Most likely, I won't update until at least our flight back home.

 P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

Gatherings

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Family Gatherings are probably one of my favorite things.

Fortunately, I have such a large family and it's not just on holidays that we all gather.

In my opinion, the best kind of weekends are those that are family-filled. Fortunately, I have a lot of family that live nearby and some in other states and Canada that visit often.

You know what I love more than planned family events? The kind of weekends where one family drops by, then another... then another... and we are all just hanging out.

Speaking of gatherings, I invited a bunch of my cousins and friends for a girls' potluck dinner tonight. Definitely looking forward to that!


P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

Earth Hour 2011 Follow up

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The candle below was the only "light" we had on in our whole house during Earth Hour earlier today.

And you know what? It was great.

Not only because it felt nice to do our small share for our planet... but because all four of us sat around in the family room (in the dark) and talked about old memories and such.

I mean, come on, how often do you do that?

It was like for an hour, everything else was put on a stand-still, and... it was just nice.

You know what else I did? I marinated chicken to BBQ tomorrow. Yes, in March. I've been craving it for a while, so figured why not? :)

So did you take part in Earth Hour? What did you do? I'd love to hear about (and even see pictures) if you posted some.


 P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

Observations at a Hospital/Doctor's Office (Part Two)

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This is part two of the post from here on the following questions:

You know what I'll never understand?

1. Why patients with heart related symptoms are made to wait an hour (plus) in the waiting room in the emergency room.
2. Why patients on a "cardiac diet" are fed cheese sandwiches, lasagna, and other such things in hospitals.
3. Why a cardiologists' office serves pizza (ESPECIALLY after a stress test).
4. Why the nurses and technicians in hospitals wake the patients up every 2-4 hours to take their blood pressure, etc.
5. Why the nurses and technicians are so incredibly loud in the middle of the night.

You can read part one about statements one and two by clicking here.

Statement Three: Why a cardiologists' office serves pizza (ESPECIALLY after a stress test).

This goes along with my previous statement, statement two, as it also deals with the quality of food (or lack thereof).

After my dad's heart attack in 2005, he has had regular appointments with the cardiologist of course and has had annual stress tests. Each year after coming back his stress test, he would tell us that they were serving pizza and soda for the patients and their families (fortunately he would choose not to eat that).

It's so absurd that it is almost funny. Here we are at a cardiologists' office and they are serving oily pizza to a bunch of heart patients.

Apparently they have stopped serving food altogether-- so I'm not even sure it was because they realized they were serving unhealthy food or if it was just because

Statement Four: Why the nurses and technicians in hospitals wake the patients up every 2-4 hours to take their blood pressure, etc.

Fortunately I've never been hospitalized, but I've stayed plenty of times with my mom or dad. That said, I probably know my local hospital backwards and forward. But that's not the point; the point is that I don't get why they do certain things at hospitals (or the way they do them).

While it's annoying when they check the patients' temperature, blood pressure, and pulse rate every couple of hours while you are awake, I understand that they have to do that. I get it. What I don't get it is WHY they wake up patients to do it when they are sleeping. I don't think that by not checking for several hours it would be that big of a deal in MOST cases. OF COURSE they are some circumstances where I'm sure it is necessary to check every two hours on the dot-- but it's not all of the time!

Most patients are probably already annoyed and not getting sleep just because they are in the hospital, so a few sound hours of sleep is probably necessary for them. I think my blood pressure would rise every time they woke me up at night ;)... just saying.

Once or twice, I remember, the technician coming into the room and once they acknowledge that the patient (my mom or dad) is sleeping, they just tell me they'll come back later when the patient is awake. But that rarely happens.

You know what I find the funniest during all of this? When the nurse or technician asks the patient bright and early in the morning how they slept? How do you think they slept? You didn't let them sleep! 

I'm going to throw in a statement five in here just because I can :)

Statement Five:  Why the nurses and technicians are so incredibly loud in the middle of the night.

I'm not sure what the deal is with this one, but it sure is annoying.

I can never sleep in hospitals anyways, so I'm usually up all night... which is probably why I noticed all these little things.

I don't remember if I've noticed this happen before, but this past time - a nurse and technician kept talking really loud (essentially yelling to one another) right outside the rooms. If it was for something related to the patients, that they needed help, or something to the likes - it would be more than understandable. But no, instead they were laughing and joking. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!

Several times, my dad woke up from their loud voices. Said nurse and technician even came into our room and continued to do so and I probably gave them the most annoyed look possible because that was when it stopped fortunately.

Have you observed or heard about other similar things happening at hospitals and/or doctors' offices that you found absurd?

Updated 12.17.2010: I was quite surprised to find this question in a survey online at http://www.hospitalcompare.hhs.gov because that indicates that it is a consistent problem, not something that happens on a rare occasion. For the category, 'Patients who reported that the area around their room was "Always" quiet at night.' -- only 52% of the people who answered the survey in relation to the hospital we were at. That's pretty low. Worse, the number was lower for the other hospitals in our area!

P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

Observations at a Hospital/Doctor's Office (Part One)

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You know what I'll never understand?

1. Why patients with heart related symptoms are made to wait an hour (plus) in the waiting room in the emergency room.
2. Why patients on a "cardiac diet" are fed cheese sandwiches, lasagna, and other such things in hospitals.
3. Why a cardiologists' office serves pizza (ESPECIALLY after a stress test).
4. Why the nurses and technicians in hospitals wake the patients up every 2-4 hours to take their blood pressure, etc.

I'll expand further on each of the above statements, but don't you find each of them absolutely ridiculous and hypocritical?

Statement One: Why patients with heart related symptoms are made to wait an hour (plus) in the waiting room in the emergency room.

This past Tuesday my dad went to the emergency room because he felt tightness in his chest (he had a heart attack in 2005 so of course it was a concern for all of us). We sat in the waiting room for atleast an hour and a half (probably even more) before we were finally taken back into the emergency room. Another 30+ minutes later, he was finally seen by a doctor.

A chest x-ray, blood test, and 2 EKG's later to see if it was indeed heart related we were told that the tests would need to be done several times (one at about each eight hour interval) because just one or two times would be inconclusive. If that's the case, it brings me back to my original question of WHY they take so long in the first place.

I would assume, and rightfully so I think, that if the symptoms indicate that the problem is heart related, immediate action would be taken. I had always assumed that the emergency room was ordered based on the urgency of the situations, but apparently not based on what I saw.

Not surprisingly, my dad was hospitalized -- for two days.

This wasn't the first time, unfortunately, we had to to wait way too long for something that could have potentially been serious (but thankfully was not) -- it happened to my mom in 2008 as well.

Statement Two: Why patients on a "cardiac diet" are fed cheese sandwiches, lasagna, and other such things in hospitals.

I've noticed this happen before as well, but at the same as I talk about above -- I went to ask the nurse if my dad could have something to eat since he hadn't had anything to eat for several hours (he had came straight from work to the hospital). The nurse told me he would ask my dad's doctor and let me know. Can you imagine how surprised I was when the technician came back sometime later and told us that my dad was being put on a cardiac diet for now and asked if a cheese sandwich would be okay when we told him he could eat halal food (kosher-like) or vegetarian.

What part of a sandwich with two cheese slices fits into a cardiac diet? How does that even make sense?

The next day he had vegetarian lasagna (again with lots of cheese) for lunch. Oh, and with each meal came a roll with BUTTER. I can't recall exactly what else he ate during his hospital stay, but a lot of them sure were questionable. When did a cardiac diet come to mean that only the salt quantity needs to be controlled?

Part Two to come soon.  Update: You can read Part Two by clicking here.

 P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

Photographer's Assistant

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So remember, when I wrote about my cousin's photography business here? This past Sunday I got to assist her.

She had the same client for the wedding and the valima (a reception), and since the valima was in New Jersey (and very close to where I live), she asked me to go as her assistant.

It was a great experience overall (minus having to wait THREE HOURS for the bride and groom to show up for the reception). Not to mention, I had the easy job -- helping in setting up, giving my cousin the alternating lens when she needed it, looking out for photographic moments, helping with poses, etc.

I'm not sure I could deal with the stress that comes with the responsibility of being the official photographer for someone's wedding! We all know how much I stress right?

While the bride had originally told my cousin in their meeting that she didn't want pictures taken with the extended family, we ended up spending about two hours doing just that -- where each one was claimed to be "the last one, I promise".

Being on the other side of the lens (so to speak) for the first time at an event also gave me a new sense of appreciation for professional photographers (especially at weddings -- and particularly desi ones while we are it). As annoying as photographers may seem at weddings, there's a valid reason behind it. Desi weddings, especially, usually involve A LOT of people.

Oh, and when the professional photographer tells other people to stop taking pictures, just listen! I wasn't even the one taking pictures, but it was annoying to me when the bride or the groom (or a extended family member) would look at someone else's camera when my cousin asked them to look at hers. I mean, come on, you are PAYING her! Wouldn't you want to make sure those pictures came out perfect?

My cousin recently created a blog for her business as well, where she plans to write about the events she does. You can check that out by clicking here. She's just starting the blog out, but it should be up and running in no time.

P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

Aurora Moments Photography

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A good photographer makes a world of a difference, don't you think?

My cousin, Samia, recently started a photography business of her own, called Aurora Moments Photography. She's based in New York (but does events in New Jersey and other local areas as well).

I'm not just saying this because she's my cousin, but she is a great photographer!

She actually started her business to cater towards Muslim brides who are looking for female photographers, but she does all sort of events -- everything from portrait sessions to birthdays to graduation parties to weddings and everything in between.

Click here to check out some portfolio pictures on her Facebook fan page and you can contact Samia Ahmad at samia@auroramoments.com for all of your photography needs.


 P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

A Quick Recap of the Weekend

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I HATE when everyone leaves at the same time, and that is exactly what happened this past Sunday. We had family arriving last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday for various family gatherings, but they all left Sunday.

On Friday night, our aunt and uncle (Chotti Anna and Javed Chachoo) hosted a BBQ, and it turned out to be a graduation party for all the graduates in our immediate family (six of us from NJ and one from Canada) and a house-warming party for them at the same time. Saturday, we had a brunch at our house and that night was Shahbaz's Graduation Party. 

Not only did all my aunts and uncles and their families leave, but so did Faraz!

If I said it didn't seem weird, I would be lying.

I guess it will take some getting used to. Even though Faraz has lived away in Hoboken for five years, we still saw him a couple of time a month. We're planning on going to Canada at the end of the month though, so we'll see him then.

Sunday night, after all of our relatives had left, we went to see the fireworks at Piscataway High School and then yesterday went to NYC for a few hours in a the evening. It's funny that we have lived here for so many years (ten to be exact) and haven't really seen many of the tourist spots.


 P.S. Don't forget to leave me a comment below on your thoughts! As always, I'd love to hear from you.

Changes

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Faraz,

You and I both know how much I hate changes.. and there have been a lot of them lately. The biggest of them yet is you moving to Canada. Its so weird to think that you'll be in a different country and even weirder to think that we'll only see you a couple of times a year for a while.

Sometimes its hard to realize that we are in our 20s, and not little kids anymore. Just the other day I was thinking about the things we did as kids - like building a tent in our living room with the dining chairs and a lot of blankets and comforters. We would play for hours underneath there and even eat snacks in my play kitchen-ware. It's the little things that become memorable as you look back. I wish time would slow down sometimes, but it seems to be going by faster and faster instead.

You sure can drive me crazy A LOT of times, but we're going to miss having you around all the time. You know moving away back to Canada for this new job and all means you will have to grow up and act your age, right? :)

Things have always come so easily for you, or so it seems. Whether its winning things off of twitter many times over or leisure reading as the rest of us prepare rigorously for exams, you've taken everything in stride.

Never doubt your abilities, but don't become over-confident either. Best wishes as you start this new job! I know this is just the beginning of a lot of great things to come your way.

Love you always,